I have been in a long distance relationship for over 2 years, I was only with my boyfriend for 4 months before we were separated. I am British and study in Scotland and my boyfriend is Swiss and is studying in Switzerland. A lot of people told us our relationship wouldn’t work but we have been proving those people wrong everyday for the last two and a half years. I thought I would share 10 ways we manage to keep our relationship going and our spark alive.
BE POSITIVE – There are going to be points in your relationship when you are feeling lonely, unhappy and as if the separation between you and your loved one is the hardest thing in the world. I know that at some points it can be extremely difficult and the thought of it all working out at the end doesn’t seem possible. But you have to remember why you entered into this relationship. You knew it wasn’t going to be easy and yet you still chose to be with this person. A long distance relationship is built on positivity, the dream that this small amount of time apart will lead to you spending a huge amount of time together. You both have to believe that your relationship will work and you can do it, it’s a team effort. Once you have conquered the distance your relationship will be stronger than ever.
BOOK YOUR NEXT VISIT WHEN YOU ARE TOGETHER WITH YOUR PARTNER- When you are visiting your partner make sure to book your next visit when you are together. This can make a huge difference in a long distance relationship. If you and your partner are seperated and you don’t have a plan in place to see each other again then you have nothing to look forward to. This can be upsetting and it can be difficult to book a trip when you are apart because you have to do it over phone or text. If you book your next visit when you are together then you know when you will see them next and it is not as upsetting when you and your partner are seperated.
- WRITE LETTERS – Writing letters is something I have definitely found makes a long distance relationship a hell of a lot easier. I look forward to opening my post box and seeing if there is anything from my boyfriend. It is nice to receive something other than a text. A letter is a small reminder than your boyfriend/girlfriend loves you and are thinking about you.
- SKYPE/ PHONE – Try to phone or Skype each other at least once a week. Hearing the voice of your loved one and seeing them on Skype allows you to feel closer together and you can talk freely in a way you can’t do over messenger. Make sure you schedule a time for calling or skyping that suits you both.
- AVOID DANGEROUS SITUATIONS – If you make friends with someone you find attractive and they invite you out for a meal or drinks then make sure it is okay with your partner before you go. The last thing you want is to upset your boyfriend/girlfriend and intentionally make them feel jealous. Make sure you tell your partner in advance if you are going out with friends or have plans because they will always want to know what you are doing, it will reassure them and they will be less worried and less upset. You could try going out with your friends at the same time your partner’s going out with theirs. You will both be occupied and won’t be worrying about each other. If you stay at home when your partner goes out in the evenings it can make you feel lonely and upset. All relationships can easily be destroyed by making mistakes. However in a long distance relationship the chances of this happening are more likely. You can’t see the person you love, you miss them and you just want someone to hold you and appreciate you. If you are feeling lonely and you go out drinking with someone you find attractive or someone who has been flirting with you then you might find yourself doing something you will regret. You must recognise the situation before you decide to enter into it. Think about what you are doing before you do it. If you make a mistake in your relationship it is a lot harder to appologise to your partner and ressolve the issue because you can’t meet up with them and hug them better. You have to call and text them and if they don’t pick up there is nothing much you can do.
- TRUST EACH OTHER – You have to trust your partner if you want a long distance relationship to work. You have to trust that what your partner is telling you is the truth otherwise you will always worry about your relationship and feel insecure. You can’t check on your partner and make sure they are doing what they are telling you if you live far away from one another and so trusting each other is essential.
- HAVE AN AIM- Know what you and your partner are working towards. Discuss with each other what you want to happen once your long distance relationship is complete, what is your plan. If you have a goal to work towards then with everyday that passes is a day closer to your future together.
- VISIT EACH OTHER- The best moments in a long distance relationship are when you can finally see the person you have been waiting and yearning for. Whenever you have a few day’s free, go and visit your partner, try to see them as often as you can. When you finally get to see your boyfriend/girlfriend after weeks or months apart it is the best feeling in the world. All the effort you have put into your long distance relationship finally feels worth it and you get a sense of achievement. Holding hands, kissing, hugging etc feel much more intimate and special to someone in a long distance relationship compared to other couples. You appreciate the small things.
- MAKE ROMANTIC GIFTS – Open when letters are a great gift to give your partner when you are in a long distance relationship. Open when letters are envelopes which say ‘open when you are sad’ or ‘open when you miss me’ etc on them and inside is a letter or a small gift. On a letter which says ‘open when you are bored’ inside could be a list of activities your partner can do and a buid your own paper earoplane or a puzzle etc. Open when letters are easy to make a very romantic and thoughtful gift to recieve.
- DO EXCITING THINGS WHEN TOGETHER – One good thing about being in a long distance relationship is being able to explore the area your partner is living in. You have the opportunity to travel and visit attractions, explore differet cities and meet new people. You will also create more memories together if you do exciting things when you visit one another and your time together will feel longer.
I also uploaded a video on my YouTube channel which explains the following 10 points in more detail. Check it out: